Semicolons in life; a cure for the reactionary
Some of my best growth opportunities come when I catch myself in the act, and am brave enough to admit it. That only can occur with a pause, and so, a new mantra for today.
One of my pet peeves, and more accurately an anchored reaction – is the reasoning ‘too busy’. I won’t use it when speaking about how the week or day unfolded, and get angered when other’s use it as an excuse for not reaching out to us, making an assumption that we are ‘too busy’ and won’t create the space to engage. This past week was a vibrant and accomplished one, filled with the riches of relationships driven by the business (notice I didn’t say I was ‘too busy’). Welcoming the weekend, a time to focus on cleaning up the task-list that had dropped to a third priority, and pulling the office encumbered family room back to the sanctuary of our home.
Our first majestic snow of the season – trees pillowed with cotton like flakes, Calleigh laying on the sun-lit hearth rug, listening to the crackling of dancing fire - so inviting now – reflecting on what unfolded earlier:
The tempo of my speech, and zip-lining through the house (an appropriate metaphor) as Mike was easing into his club chair to enjoy the newspaper (typically a morning ritual – but this day we delighted in hearing grandson Aiden preform on violin at Christkindlmarkt instead), echoed my pace with his attempt to make me pause and come back down to earth. ‘There you go, frantic, I gotta get it all done NOW’ or something like that. My initial reaction was denial – ‘I am not frantic, see I am sitting down – and not even going to carry the dry-erase board back to the office – so there!!!’
Fast forwarding though our process – and allowing for brevity – I owned it– yes, I was frantic – yes, I have this “get it done NOW” then sit down style, and my reaction of denial was a response to his mirroring me with his statement – a faster paced, louder mocking tone.
I spent the week coaching others on breathing techniques, and related it to the body – if we eat and never give pause to digest – we miss out on all the nutrients. The same is true with our pace, conversations, and information or stimulation overload. Walking my talk is essential – and here I allowed myself to receive the true intention from my sweetheart – and invite the semicolon into our life.
Two key takeaways here:
- If you want someone to hear you, and they are in a zone – don’t mimic it. (Just like the de-escalation techniques we use with employees who are potentially violent.)
- Create pauses in life to digest. Whether you do daily mediation, deep breathing, or have no sound on in the car as you drive.
A universal truism – when one door closes, another door opens – perhaps is because by pausing and creating the opening of space in time and intention, it allows for new opportunity to be revealed.
I literally wasted precious time with ‘analysis-paralysis’ that I wasn’t frantic – finding the path to see that I was, when the essence of love was there to help me to see it, all the time. Do not pass by opportunities for growth and connectedness, allow for the semicolon of life – receiving the richness, and beauty – intended for you.
“Wherever you are - be all there. ”