Reset, Failing Forward with a Twist
As the meeting concluded I allowed for others to clear the room, hurrying off to their next appointments. It was then that I paused and gently looked in her eyes as an invitation to speak, for I sensed that beneath the surface an alternative scenario was at play, different from the chairperson and leader we look to for guidance. In addition to the other defined familial dis-harmonies, I soon realized it was the internal disappointment of being ‘off track’ from her usual passionate, proactive, positive trajectory. This heavy weight was obtuse.
Free unlike a mulligan purchased at a golf tournament with its constrained parameters, I shared an affirmative, guilt-less, life affirming, self-gifted alternative: “The Reset”.
Contrary to presumptions, I do not have great patience for reoccurring patterned narcissistic repetitions of failure, accompanied by a plethora of ‘I can’t’, I’ve tried’, ‘I’m not able’ , ‘I don’t have time’ all surrounded by a defeatist ominous grey laden cloud, worse than what follows Poo’s Eeyore. Internally I am intolerant of it, and in dissent have both used and modeled the Reset technique, as it sweetly resembles the naivety of child’s play, with wonderment and joy. How special a treat!
“What are you doing for you? What makes you feel alive, brings joy, provides you strength, courage, and reconnects you to your invincible spirit?” I offer as a path to alignment. Initially she responded “I can’t , not now’, but as I pressed on with complete acceptance , it allowed for connections to be drawn (that internal cry for help), glimpses of brief snippets of attempts to reclaim her vision of being whole. We moved onward clearing cobwebs, light finding paths through dark cervices, to understand and embrace the Reset.
Each day I awake to a clear slate. Even if yesterday didn’t realize the vision, as simple as writing or working out, whatever it is that left me not feeling successful and bright, I have arrived at a new day, fresh and clean, and the behaviors and choices of yesterday do not enslave, they enlighten and allow for a new creation, a new opportunity to be my best self.
The beauty is this: if on this day I did not succeed, tomorrow morning is my brand new opportunity to break the old patterns, and try again. Accepting, honoring my higher self’s wisdom, living a mindful supportive Pura Vida.
This lit bit of wisdom may seem so trite to you, unless you embrace it.
This past week we met again, literally one month later. She was excited to share how she not only heard, listened, and evaluated all we spoke of, but put it into a successful practice: Reset
I think the concept came from my gamer son, there when you “die” you start fresh and new. Why can’t we be as kind to ourselves when we are fighting demons and historical voices of skepticism, and self-doubt. It is easier to forgive and make allowances for other than accept and shelter kindness on ourselves.
A Crosby, Stills and Nash song comes to mind, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with”. Yes, love you, accept you, and return that peace like an essential oil, healing the world.
“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. ”