Gun-nu – Raising the bar – beyond entitlement

We were fortunate enough to open our home to host my Daughter-n-law’s colleague from abroad.  They shared responsibility for the Bavaria, Germany – PA, USA high-school exchange these past two weeks.  The shift in cultural perspective, banter about language – (a vehicle to understanding the spectrum of intimacy in relationships), and conversations of experiences unfolding in the present, including that which brought us to this time – gave pause to ‘seeing’ in a new way, and appreciating the universality of interpersonal relationships.

Aimee departed for the airport yesterday early afternoon.  I walked past her room, no longer a refuge for her belongings, and noticed a chocolate bar laying on the pillow of her bed.  This gesture, one I had never thought to do upon leaving a visit to others, left such a tender feeling in my heart. In one act, the kindness, respect and appreciation honoring the last few weeks was present. 

As contrasts often sharpen a vision, the next paper I lifted was a write-up regarding a client’s employee – and her inappropriate sense of entitlement. This juxtaposition the sweetness of Aimee’s candy bar was striking.

Many small company owners wrestle with confronting a passive – aggressive behavior such as entitlement.  Taking action to improve the performance, and if the results do not improve over time, moving forward with restructuring or releasing the employee from the team, is too often pushed out into the future -  looking the other way while focusing on the overwhelming demands of day to day.

As the job market has tightened, some feel their hands tied when performance is shy of expectations.  It happens too often that I see an employee upsetting the apple cart by acting with a sense of unwarranted entitlement-like behaviors. Whether it manifests as an employee deciding what they will and won’t do of their responsibilities based on ‘if I feel like it’, time theft (‘milking the clock’), or speaking unprofessionally to the owner or customers.

Being held hostage and not addressing this inappropriate behavior in addition to putting your company at risk, is a disservice to other employees. Think about it – have you observed anyone relaxing their performance? Might they feel their efforts are not valued?  Has a ripple effect of declined attitude, expectations and work ethic started creeping in?

You may think – ‘what if I can’t replace them’ – ‘I don’t have the resources and the job market is not favorable to find someone else’.  In the long run – the decline in performance may spread and create segregation in the team – and then productivity, performance, collaboration, and positive attitudes will - decline.

“I don’t understand why they just don’t do their job” sound familiar?  We all struggle because we measure it relative to our own work ethic, but sometimes wrestling with the WHY rather than focusing on changing the behavior, increases stress as compared to just managing change.

As Aimee and I reflected on many observations of human dynamics, we raised a glass - resolute that how we accept today, affirming and inviting in - making the best choices, and sharing - being open to genuine, across language barriers communication, lay the foundation to enjoy the dance of life and sweetness of tomorrow.  Gun-nu. (which loosley translates to – it is true, perfect, so.)

Perhaps today will be the day you make a 'best choice', and reevaluate how performance is being managed in your company.