On the Erev of a six month anniversary giving rise to a renewed mindful-practice journey, intent on “being” juxtaposition getting swept up in the flow of “rotely doing”,  we ventured out of our comfort zone and gifted our family with our ‘presence’ rather than ‘presents’ this season.  The net-net for me manifest a balance of self and, curbing of the seasonal incline of stress.  Awe inspiring on that merit alone.

Yesterday was the first of these experiences with our daughter-in-law and two of our grandsons, a visit to Longwood Gardens for the day.  At lunch Mikey asked, “Why was this one of the choices?”  On the surface because it was in “Go Guide” and neither of us have ever been there, but as we walked through the “Cascade Garden” a memory and intention illuminated and little did I realize it then, but sharing this experience was beyond changing the pattern of gifting things to spread holiday cheer, it was to complete a loop. 

I was taken back to my childhood home in Canarsie, Brooklyn, NY in which our parents (younger then than we are now) encouraged each other’s creativity.  These were not quite the flower power days, and at the same time certainly unleashed the opportunity for that expression. They were bright, adventurous, and in love (even while raising teenagers).   I recall my Dad hiding a stereo under the steps, placing the Hi-Fi speaker in the center of a guitar which hung on the wall. This was their castle. My Mom walked these very steps that I found myself standing in at Longwood Gardens and got this wild idea to bring this experience into our home.   It came back to me, vivid as if I was inhaling the scent of the cedar shakes and as refreshing and moist as it was then in a floor to ceiling hut in the corner of the dining room, the base of which a heavily lined container housing tons of white rocks.  Imagine an unenclosed succulent, diverse, tropical terrarium thriving and bringing the healing and warmth of this ecosystem into the heart and center where we grew up.  Innovative, risk taking, and fun.

At that very moment, it all came back to me.  I snapped the picture and texted my brothers, it is through these acts that we rekindle.

Here I stood fifty years later.  I was meant to be here seeing the origins of my mother’s creative vision now, closing the loop on a trip we were destined to take together nearly 15 years after she has passed on.

I am not one to give a gift for the sake of giving one, I wound rather give nothing than hear or see a disappointed receiver. This year is the first that Mike and I agreed to resist the holidays’ expectation of gift giving to each other.  Watching Calleigh open her bone and ball in front of our tree left no disappointment yet made the morning complete enjoying the love of our family.   

Last week I received the following from Sam in response to my request for a gift idea for him, being that the distance of his living on the West Coast made experience sharing prohibitive.

‘When I think of my mom, I think of caring, supportive, and understanding … in not just my everyday life But in my hobbies that bring me Zen  I like that’

Although we talk, he is not a keeper of the pen, and subsequently not comforted by the writ word as I am.  It is no coincidence that he was moved to write, and that his sentiment translated into a premonition and continuation of the Cascading Garden.

Standing in the garden at Longwood, I recognized my Mom and Dad’s free beautiful spirits, their creativity rippling like the water cascades and nurtures the garden in my brothers and myself, each in different ways.  It transcends to our children, as Sam echoed, and vibrates beyond.

We are all connected to those before us, those we meet and unite with by friendship or kinship, those we have yet to cross paths with.  I once asked my Dad about God and his beliefs, and he spoke of this.  

We each make a difference in how we accept and encourage that in others.

May we all set forth with positivity the intention of our celestial ancestors, and create a force toward healing, hope, and the desire to cultivate the best in all of humanity.

Our prayer for 2020, With blessings and love.