So funny how a specific incident may last decades, dormant, and like a fragrance – sweet as a baking apple pie permeating the house, or pungent as a country road drive with windows open revealing the waning scent of a skunk and alas, we are drawn instinctually back to that time.  I can recall using my back to push a solid cherry credenza, it must have been ten feet long, eighteen inches deep and three and a half feet high yet I was determined to move it before anyone returned home.  The strain echoes in my lumbar spine from 25 years ago.  It is no wonder that my proclivity has aligned itself with change.  I used to rearrange furniture, design systems, repurpose and create newness, any reiteration that would improve.  

As drawn as I am to that inclination, my eldest son (of ages between six and nine at that time) then hated, yes literally hated it.  To this day he prefers the status quo and at 34 pushes himself to go beyond – realizing the void that keeping things ‘as is’ has left.

Walking into his home the table his book bag rested on, his Lego and video games, even the configuration in the kitchen, all was different.  This always left him on edge, unsure, and left me feeling delighted, cleansed.  Understanding that change is inevitable in life, and I was going to continue to be open to it, more importantly – I needed to learn how to create the passage, incorporate dialogues and desensitization techniques, to open his receptivity. 

Viscerally I re-live that anguish I had with him so concerned that he would close himself off, set himself up for failure a byproduct of reluctance to do things differently, with some clients. With a heavy heart I tread the same water.

Amidst watching an inappropriate assessment, the risk of indecision which allows for either people, processes, or their own paths to remain and at times by doing so, inflicting greater damage than fathomable, is so frustrating.  As a consultant, a teacher, a parent – we can only recommend.

Of late I am evaluating and acting on the precept that it is a disservice to not push toward action or aggressively advocate, pointing to the risks and quantifying with data.  Balancing the relationship, professional liability consequences, and acting based on the client’s best interests, all play into the equation.  I’ve recently pivoted – a lesson revealed in the relationship with my son to incorporate risk aversion and change management best practices into the dialogue, with hopes of desensitizing and encouraging receptivity to make choices beyond their comfort zones enabling a rippling effect downstream in the organization.  As mentors we provide tools and resources to create action plans and execute on them, effectively.

I challenge you to join the quest – look deeply at your decisions – and evaluate whether you are change averse or averred.  What are the real risks of action and inaction?  Success in our professional and personal lives is dependent on how those we interact with embrace change.

Do you have the tools and guidance to implement?