A reoccurring theme in life has been the concept of ‘enough’

Memories of a little girl step by step into adulthood, echoed: Am I good enough? Pretty enough? Did I study enough?  Prepare enough? Read to my kids enough?  It goes on and on, not just with my reflections, yet presents itself as a theme with clients often manifesting in terms of mending relationships, sales initiatives, or executing on personal and professional goals.

A few years ago I began a painting of ‘my girl’ Jasmine, who crossed the rainbow bridge in February of 2016.  She was a savior during the unraveling of my first marriage and redefinition of who I was and what I wanted in life.  A bouncy and affectionate black lab.  My confidante, an adored and appreciated source of acceptance and love. 

Capturing on a canvas a dear one is tough.  Somehow the brush strokes don’t seem to match the vision in one’s mind’s eye or the endearing emotions.  What made this seemingly endless project more challenging, is that the scene was us – at the end of a hike at Blue Marsh. 

How do we see ourselves?

How do we capture our essence? 

My husband’s typical nonjudgmental stance was challenged.  ‘That’s not you’ – as he gently encouraged me to change components, the eyes too light, the nose the wrong shape, cheeks too sunken or … As a staunch advocate and cheerleader, he was taxed to let it go – because it was me, the one he loves.

During a bright productive afternoon, when alas some other area began to morph forward, I would take a picture and send it to Sam on the West Coast - a Mother and son bonding across 2000 miles.  He paints figurines, I canvas.  ‘Well what do you think, is it done?’  ‘What do you think Mom..’  His natural coaching abilities shining through – he’s not so different from me as he thinks.

Is anything ever really ‘done’?  How does one walk away from a project thinking it is complete.  If we are always growing, changing, rediscovering, how can we conclude enough is enough? 

I typically draw my clients into the moment, and when setting goals reinforce that it is for a “point in time”, just for now.  Using this overlay on a grander scale doesn’t always translate so well.  Aren’t we always a work in progress?

So I ask again, when is enough, enough?  Perhaps when one can look and resonate that a realistic ‘enough’ essence of truth is captured.  Are we accepting and kind, or do our judgments cloud the very essence of what is?

How do you answer this for yourself? How do you coach your children, friends, colleagues? Please share with me, I would like to know.