‘You are not alone’, an accolade that I share with clients as they gain momentum on the road toward getting exasperated at a human relationship challenge in their practice, shop, or office.  Earlier this week, two such circumstances so mirrored each other that I needed to take pause within my practice – how could the root cause and expression of these two interactions be so similar.  More so, how can the cycle be broken, I ponder?

In both scenarios, a patron is vehement to take action and so, voices the mishandling by an employee – whom little did they know, has already had two warnings.  In both very different situations, the initial reaction from leadership was toward termination.  I too find myself caught up in buying in – why bend over backwards to provide multiple warnings or give every opportunity for corrective action (especially in an At-Will employment state).  Why, of course there are multiple reasons why, altruism, being cognizant of the impact on clients, employees, and the family needing to greet and support the one who comes home miserable again, like every other night, except this night is different because they have no job to go back to.

I find myself reacting like my clients, looking to jump the gun with an action without hearing the other side.   And then it hit me – it always takes two, there is always another side, and the reality is not in one or the other court.

Tis the time of year where complacency creeps in - as resolutions fade and the gyms become emptier. The days getting longer can’t come quick enough, icicles on the trees and another delayed opening, and we get lost in accepting what is, the day to day, and jumping on the band wagon – agreeing with the status quo.  

And here you are, on the recipient-side reading a call to action - Break The Cycle. 

The buck stops here. None of us live or act in isolation, so truly breaking the pattern or taking a stand is more important than one might realize.  Awakening, truly being present and focusing in on what the task is at hand IS life’s differentiator. Doing the right thing may start small, such as in an employee / employer relationship, and step by step its implications grow - school, company, public office, country, world.

It takes two, me and you - every me, and every you.  Be present and allow for the promise and wonders of a greater ‘being’ to evolve.